My Own Protection
by Make A Choice
Summary: There are 100's like this story, Well if u read them why not mine? 15 years after Edward left. What happens when the Cullens return to find there past and a little more.EXBFirstish FanFic.BETTER THAN YOU THINK!
1. Prologue

**First off, let's get things straight.**

**I AM NOT STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**I am only a fan that loves her characters.**

**The only thing I own is this story line, but she holds all rights to the characters and to Twilight.**

**This disclaimer goes to the whole story**

:.:.:.:.:

On to the prologue…

* * *

_Thanks to my beta's _**_readinangel_**_ and _**_flamingo1325_**_ for editing this!_

P R O L O G U E

It was 15 years ago when he said those words to me. The same words that haunt me everyday; the same ones that make my shattered heart painfully lurch for hours on end. I know it might be selfish and stupid to want him back with me, especially if he is the one that left me for the second time. Hopeless wishing was all I had left when I thought of him.

I wonder every day what would have happened if he knew of my future; of what was destined to happen. Would he have stayed? Would he have cared? No, I don't think he would have.

That day in the forest changed things drastically. He might have told me that he loved me more than a hundred times, but when he said his love for me was gone- that one time he told me it was gone over-powered the rest. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

It was worse than the first time. He had made a promise to never leave, and all my hope and trust in him had gone into that one single promise. I loved him then; I still love him almost more than anything in this world. I would have given him the moon and the stars if he had asked for it-it's not like I could have offered him anything less. He deserved the universe and more for showing me what love was. He did leave me and he did take away a large part of who I am. But he also gave me memories I wouldn't give up for anything that this half-life had to offer.

I told him I wanted to be like him, his equal. I begged him to change me. But no, he wouldn't have it. He told me it was because I didn't deserve his way of life; that I deserved to die and go to heaven. He even had the nerve to call me his angel.

I guess it's a good and a bad thing that I didn't go through my heartbreak alone this time. If I had been alone, I don't think I would have made it this far to tell you the truth.

Sure Jacob was there, and he would always my best friend. Even though back then he loved me and I loved him, after I changed we knew it could never be. I would always love him, but now he has changed in to more of a strong, protective, loving brother instead of anything more. He is just a big puppy after all.

But deep down I knew we would always hold those feelings for each other well-hidden within our hearts. We would always love each other but things had changed since then. Plus if I had chosen to be with him, it would have only lasted the length of one year at the most considering he imprinted not long after _he_ left; probably within the first six months after. I wouldn't be able to deal with a double whammy like that. Losing another lover would have destroyed me. Choosing this path, atleast I still had my friend.

I know to the people around me I seem like a normal person who isn't hiding anything from the world. They think I am 'little miss perfect' and the world is perfect and everything is just perfect. There never was such a perfect lie.

I know I should hate him but I can't. Once you find 'The One', it stays there like a little mosquito that is trying to suck you dry. It's the kind of unrequited love that some would kill for and others would sell their soul to live without. If I didn't have my two little angels I would be one of those people selling their souls. But they need me as much as I need them and I refuse to let them think for one second that they are unloved.

Well…I guess it's time to put on my mask of a smile and see them- they should be here soon. It was the first day of their sophomore year and I'm hoping things went better this year than in the past.

My kids know about their father and their other family; I told them they could come to me at anytime for any questions about them if they wanted to. But they never have, not once.

And I won't push them because it's their choice. Just like it was my choice to come back to Forks. I wanted to be with Charlie for his last few years even though it was the cruelest kind of torture for me. I love my kids and I will always protect them. Now I just have to figure out how to protect myself.


	2. Cleaned Up

**(My beta doesn't edit AN because they are mine own personal notes, so please don't say my grammar sucks based on the AN. It's just a note, not the story. The prologue is now edited though.)**

**AN:**

**Hello those of you who know this story and hello to you new people. So, let's begin with the message. **

**Breaking Dawn will most likely not affect this story at all. So pretend like you never read it and the Jacob didn't, you know...**

**Those of you who have read the note that was on chapter 19 & 20 know what I'm doing to a certain extent. At a point in the story I kind of lost my **_**'mojo'**_** so it started to go to crap (crap meaning it went in a direction I didn't like) and those notes I told you that I would be getting the story edited, add some stuff and delete some stuff, and what not. And I am, it's just that my main beta has been busy lately for reasons I understand. Getting this story finished/edited it important to me. It will get done, but like they say, Rome wasn't built in a day. **

**So, I have now decided to take all the chapter down, except the prolouge and continually add new edited chapters as they get finished. I have a few reasons for this. Well, just one big reason.**

**1.) Nasty reviews about grammer even when I say in the AN's how bad it sucks.**

**2.) People reading until the end, then finding out it's on hiatus/being cleaned up.**

**-I really am sick of getting messages about my spelling and grammar with these chapters, especially this last review. I like to hear people opinions, really, I do. And most of the time they are in a civilized manor (I use the word civilized loosely. Creativity is never civilized.) I welcome useful criticism because if I don't know what wrong how can I fix it? Criticism is mostly meant to be helpful. I don't mind flames either because they are peoples opinions as well, but I still kind of expect them to be in a civilized manor (again, I use that term loosely.) and there is a reason as to why they don't like something with the story. I know I can't make everybody happy. But it's when I get a flame on the **_**15th**_** chapter and they say I can't spell (I know) and the story is going all over the place, tends to pissed me off. **

**One, that chapter is probably where everything went bad (which, I can't blame them for feeling that way. I agree that at a point in this story things went a little array), but it's the fact that they did & waited so long to comment about the grammar (which I'm pretty sure I mentioned in every chapter on how bad it sucks) and what not, and that this person waited until the **_**15th**_** chapter to say they didn't like the story. Why would you read that far if you didn't like it? I'm not going off about a flame because it would make me a hypocrite to do so. But this person left a review anonymously so I have no way to ask the question on why they wait so long and why they commented about not liking the story and the grammar sucking even though I said the grammar sucks in every chapter. **

**I wrote this story before I had a beta. It was my first story to write. Of course there will be mistakes. Basically, I'm just trying to ask this person why they wait 15 chapter later to comment the story if they didn't like it. I hope that person is happy now though. Who knows, maybe this person finished the last five chapter and still hated it. **

**Okay, now for the rest.**

**I know that new people who are reading this for the first time don't know that I'm editing it and it is temporarily on hiatus, and that's my fault that I should have put a note in the beginning when I first posed the notes on chapters 19 & 20. **

**Well, I am now. And I think its better this way. To me, it means new people won't know what happens. (Some of you originals sort of already know, but a few details will be changed.) And I won't get so many grammar reviews for something that is changing yet. And I hate when authors do that, they say it's on hiatus but don't put it in the summery or chapter one. My fault again, I just didn't think about it. **

**So, yeah. That's pretty much it. Just the same note as before. The reason I'm deleting these chapters then reposting them after editing and not starting it as New Story is that I don't want to loose the 44,560 hits(which will change after I delete the other chaps), 6 C2's, 154 favorites, 215 alerts and 508 reviews. I would if the story made a big turn around, but it's not. Probably just the last five chapters will be altered. Maybe more, maybe less. **

**And for you new reader who are like 'What?' don't worry about it. Feel free to review the prologue or PM me if you want. I'll be taking the chapters down soon.**

**I think that is everything. :) Just letting everyone know, again, about the cleaning up process. **

**I hope most of you who liked the story understand my reasoning. Besides, it's for the better of the story. :)**

**_Love to all_**

**_Miss Wannabe_**

_PS- When I post chapter 2 I'm taking this note down. So if you review now, you won't be able too later. So PM me if you have something to say or ask :)_


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